Tia Talks

University was meant to be the best three years of my life according to hearsay and although it wasn't I can acknowledge that in addition to my degree, I left with many life lessons and had become very self-aware. It was during my final year that I had come to the conclusion that despite consciously trying to be an open-minded and a decent human being, there was just something unlikable about me and I was branded as being 'standoffish'. In hindsight I can see that I allowed other people's actions to shape how I saw myself which is very dangerous. See, there's not much danger in being unlikeable, not in this case anyway. However, there is danger in seeking validation from people who shouldn't matter. From people who despite false pretenses are unsure of themselves. So what did I do when I had become aware of the 'unlikable' stench that followed me? Well, I tried to make my personality more digestible, I pretended to be fine with things I wasn't fi

I am tired. Exhausted even. Someday,  some how  I decided I would aboard the journey of what they call self-love. And though it looks promising, as the symptoms include happiness, fulfillment  and self-acceptance.   The doctor's note failed to inform me of the side effects that come with it, tire d ness. The tiredness that comes from battling over and over with your insecurities. The tiredness you feel from trying to unlearn the ugly lessons and  princ i p les  that society  has  drilled into you.  Oh  and let's not forget the self-doubt, trying to instill new lessons, new values into yourself is difficult when the old, toxic ones are constantly perpetuated.   The Oxford dictionary defines 'love' as an intense feeling of deep affection, a great interest and pleasure in something.  I interpret this as  one may go through hardship but is still able to love, one may go through obstacles but is still able to love. Essentially, self-love can't be  acquired  easily...

As I approach what is meant to be a milestone age I thought it would be a good to idea to reflect on what I've learnt these past twenty years. So here it goes... 1. Protect your peace of mind at all costs.  Forget about being polite at the expense of your mental health, don't worry about explaining  yourself to people who couldn't give a toss anyway. 2. Friends can break your heart too. Like India Arie said " One shot to your heart without breaking your skin, no one has the power to hurt you like your friends". 3. What someone else thinks of you is none of your business.   Some people are just hellbent on misunderstanding you and that's their problem.  4. Believe in yourself and what you say. Regardless of who disputes it, regardless of how confidently someone tells you that your idea won't work. Take the plunge and see for yourself. 5. Fake it until you become it. As sad as it is image is really important in this world

I cry on my birthday every year. Yes, every single year lol. As abnormal as it seems a Google search and a phone call with one of my friends made me realise that other people do this also. Turns out that quite a few suffer with 'The Birthday Blues'. As you can imagine it was relieving to find out that I'm not the only one. Most people I know don't enjoy turning older but as we all know, it's the inevitable. It's the 19th December and in exactly one month I will be twenty-one, as winter progresses I often feel down knowing that once the New Year hits, I will soon be poking another candle in the cake . Once upon a time I looked forward to 19th January because the 19th meant everyone being extra nice to me that day, it meant going to the shop with my mom the night before to pick up a box of chocolates to take to school, it meant shying away whilst everyone sang 'Happy Birthday to you' in my face. At about 12 years old my disdain for birthdays developed

From losing my bus pass to being scammed out of some of my money, to my USB stick physically breaking and my laptop crashing and losing ALL my files including what I've done of my dissertation so far, recorded podcast episodes and all that good stuff and  much, much  more- safe to say this week has been one of the most stressful weeks of my life...so far. (Little Simpsons movie reference for your headtop). It's mad how many things can go belly up in the space of 5/6 days. Situations like this used to happen now and again, like when I was studying my A levels and there was a leakage in my house which destroyed four months of revision material days before my final exams. But since starting uni these situations seem to be happening more frequently, especially when you add group assigments and external commitments to the mix. And all I can say is... Stress is shit and the painful stress headaches aint it yall. How do you manage stress? And to be specific stress that

"Show me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are" "You are the company you keep" "Birds of a feather, flock together" From what I can see, all these phrases basically mean the same thing: If you aint shit, your friends probably aint shit either and I want to say I agree with that.... I don't think you should judge someone by what they look like nor where they come from. But I think it's fair to judge someone by their friends. The way I see it is, who you keep around you ideally should reflect your morals. I said ideally... because at the end of the day a lot of people are scared to check their friends. We all have a friend that puts their foot in it sometimes and we all know someone who's offensive but hey? you get used to them once you know them. As opposed to telling your friends what's what, you let it slide and next thing you know they're iceskating. In other words, you're being tolerant. But